aaaand... I'm back.

Sort-of.

For the 5 people out there who probably read this (or maybe it's just you, mom) I apologize for disappearing for over a month...  first it was work (which is still 45-50 hours per week) and then I broke up with my boyfriend... so unfortunately I haven't had the energy (or desire) to take the time to comment on my life.  But things have settled down (eh, somewhat... maybe...) so I thought I'd share a few thoughts with you.  But don't worry!  I'm not a depressed, mopey, "poor me" kinda girl -- it is what it is, and I'm grateful for the experience I had... I know that everything happens for a reason, and I have faith that the Lord has some sort of idea of what He wants for me, even if at times the light at the end of the tunnel seems to move farther and farther away from me....  And in all honesty, I hold no negative feelings towards the guy.. as much as heartbreak hurts, it's part of life.  And I'm glad we were able to figure this out now then down the road... but in the end, it's really not up to us -- it's up to the Lord.  And I hope that I find a guy who believes that as strongly as I do.  :)

As for work... it's fantastic, I really couldn't be happier.  Aside from my amazing group of friends up here in Salt Lake, I think that has really been a huge support/distraction from the other stressors in my life.  There is so much development and change in the way things are run in the clinic and I am a critical factor in the changes that are being made (with regards to the "Spine Center" concept) -- both in the actual decision-making process as well as taking on the responsibilities to address issues that arise.  I'm so excited to see where this will go, and I already see how my efforts and hard work are paying off.  It's hard to fully describe in words what my role is at the clinic, but the plan is for me to be the "Gate Keeper" of sorts -- all new patient referrals will go through me, and I will discuss the cases with the surgeons so they can decide on a treatment plan for the patient.  This may sound simple and straight-forward, but the process requires a lot of coordination... and as in any relationship, the only part I can have any control over is the choices I make and the actions I take -- so I have to rely on each party involved, which can be stressful because, of course, everyone is free to make their own decisions, and on their own schedule (which rarely coincides with mine).  SO... it's been quite the learning/growing process for me, but I've really become confident in my role and the responsibility I have been given, so I've become much more assertive and comfortable with my voice and the opinions I have.  And I can't tell you how great that feels :)

In case you're curious, here is a general overview of our "Spine Center" algorithm:

1. New Patient referral received
2. Patient contacted for initial intake
3. Patient mails/drops off printed MRI films
4. Patient put in queue for review by the surgeon
5. Surgeon reviews patients' referral notes/reports/films and gives recommendations
6. Patient is contacted to relay recommendations
7. Appointment is scheduled with appropriate provider in the clinic, or patient is referred to appropriate specialty

At each step, there are many potential issues that we are confronted with... and so unfortunately, it rarely goes as smoothly as we would hope.  But in addition to managing this system, we are also running reports for all established patients in the clinic and testing that is ordered (although thankfully this job will be moved to my administrative assistant's list of responsibilities as soon as she is hired -- yes, I will have an "assistant").  I'm also sending multiple letters daily to patients and referring physicians to update them on the current status of each new patient's referral.  After reviews is our busiest time -- I have to enter all the recommendations for each patient into the computer system, and then Annette and I make phone calls/write letters to each patient/physician to update them on the outcome of the review.  Two of our surgeons are caught up with their reviews... unfortunately, the third has been quite busy with clinic and his on-call week emergency surgeries, so we haven't had a review in over a month... and now he has 73 patients waiting for review -- which he will be going through tomorrow.  SO, needless to say, the rest of my week is looking pretty busy.... but I much prefer it that way :)  I just feel so blessed to be in this position -- to be respected and trusted by those I work with, and to be a part of something that promises such potential for growth and development in my future.  I never thought I would see myself working in an office, but I realize that this is the perfect fit for me and my personality.  Who knows, maybe I'll change my mind in the future... but for now, I really couldn't ask for anything more.  Funny how I think I know what's best for me, and then He shows me (again and again) that He knows me better than I know myself....  :) 

Even though I feel as though I live at my office or in my car, I have been able to get out and have a little bit of fun here and there -- I took a weekend trip to New York with some close friends from my ward a couple weeks ago, and we had the time of our lives.  Such an enjoyable trip, and besides, y'all know how much I love NYC.... :)  I have a few more adventures in the works for the upcoming months, including a potential summer cruise with some close girlfriends... just a few benefits of being single :)  But it's getting late -- yes, I've turned into a grandma of sorts -- so I'm going to wrap this up, and I'll be in touch with a new update soon enough!  Much love everyone!