my heart is in Zambia today...

I woke up this morning (after only 4 hours of sleep) to tackle my first Pharmacology exam.  I survived, and was quite proud of how much I seem to be retaining amidst the flurry of information that I am drowning in right now.  Last semester, all our classes seemed to blend and integrate content, so that studying for one class was basically studying for another.  This semester, although it may sometimes be the case, my courses are definitely more distinct and therefore I must divide my free hours to accommodate studying for each of my classes.  Thankfully, the courses I am taking are not too intense (aside from Pharmacology) and all are quite captivating, so it is manageable.  But as I get adjusted to life here in Baltimore, I'm finding it easier to get distracted by the place that I now call "home."  Weekend nights are no longer reserved for endless studying... I love discovering new aspects of this city! Last weekend, I had one of my oldest and dearest friends out to visit and we made great use of our few short days together.  We drove up to Gettysburg and explored the battlefields on horseback, with a guide detailing the immensity of those 3 days as we wound our way through the now-peaceful farmlands.  What a scene to have beheld, I cannot even imagine... I was grateful that we were able to make our way to Washington DC a couple days later to see the Smithsonian's American History Museum, and get a better understanding of the history behind the battle and the Civil War itself.  I feel that since I took my US History course junior year of high school, I have forgotten where this country developed from and what it was founded on... it was a much-needed reminder of the great sacrifices that have been made for us so that we may live in freedom today.  Aside from delving into our country's historical roots, we also made time to check out the National Museum of Health and Medicine.  Such a great experience!  There were a few exhibits on display that I really appreciated having the opportunity to see, especially the one focusing on the work of those who serve in the trauma bays of the ongoing war in Iraq.  Pretty incredible, to recognize and appreciate their efforts.  Another interesting exhibit focused on President Lincoln, and they actually had the bullet on display that had been removed from his head after he died.  Fascinating.  Brenn and I were excited to see the remains of General Sickle's leg... a leader in the Civil War, he was on his horse during the Battle of Gettysburg and a cannonball hit his leg and severely fractured it so that it had to be amputated... and he decided that it should be sent to the Medical Museum!  And so there it remains, on display for us to view.  Interesting.  But after hearing the story while we were in Gettysburg, it was interesting to connect the stories and see it for ourselves.  And aside from all our gallivanting through the educational sights, we were able to visit Annapolis for a day and then wander through Fells Point (my neighborhood in Baltimore), appreciating all that the Chesapeake region has to offer.  We tried to find a place to experience steamed crabs on Labor Day, but unfortunately they were all out by the time we sat down to eat!  We were slightly disappointed... nothing like eating crabs in Maryland!  It was a great weekend overall, and I was so happy to have her out here.  But now it's back to business as usual...

So, the semester has started off relatively slowly, compared to summer.  I'm waiting for the onslaught of exams and assignments, but so far it feels as if they're taking pity on us for what they put us through!  haha.  It has been an adjustment the first couple weeks, but I'm finally feeling as if I have a solid grasp on what to expect.  My clinical rotation for the first half of this semester is in Psych, which I actually feel relatively comfortable in.  My time spent at the treatment facility in Utah served as great preparation for the psychiatric unit that I am now working in.  We spend our Thursdays and Fridays on the floor, and our main responsibility is to interact with the patients as they are going through their day treatments and groups.   I'm not sure what I initially expected... maybe a little more chaos?  But so far, things have run smoothly and we really appreciate the efforts the nursing staff are making to include us in their daily assessments.  I will say that it has been quite of an adjustment for me... dealing with adults who are suffering from mental illnesses is quite different than my experience working with teenage girls.  The most common diagnosis that we have seen is Depression, but we've also had a few patients who are diagnosed as "Psychotic" -- either suffering with Schizophrenia or a manic episode of Bipolar Disorder.  Our daily tasks include meeting with our assigned patients and discussing with them their reasons for their stay (it's mostly short term, averaging from a few days to a few weeks) and their goals for what they want to accomplish and take with them when they leave.  Working in Psych is very different from any other nursing environment, in that we only have ourselves as tools to help our patients.  WE are the therapeutic means to help them -- we can't hide behind our stethoscopes, which definitely left us feeling a little more vulnerable when we walked into the unit on the first day.  The nursing staff has been quite impressed with how we've adjusted to the environment, and it's been helpful knowing that they have a little bit of faith in us!  I love my new clinical group, and appreciate having the opportunity to learn from them during our conference meetings at the end of each shift.  I'm very glad that I decided to do this rotation first, because I feel like I have made realizations about my own strengths and weaknesses, and know what I need to work on in order to provide better care for the emotional and psychological well-being of my patients, no matter what unit I may be working in. 

Now... on to a topic that is very close to my heart.  For those who aren't so familiar with my experiences in the African country of Zambia, I apologize for the lack of background information... but I learned this morning after my exam that beautiful little Carol Zulu passed away last night, succumbing to the effects of AIDS after a hard-fought battle that a 15-year old should never have to endure.  In short, I met Carol in 2006 (and then saw her again in 2007 upon my return) while I was in Zambia with the organization Mothers Without Borders. When we arrived to the Children's Village in 2006, she had only been there a few short days to gain strength and recover after a recurrent illness had weakened her frail body.  She rapidly found herself a part of the family at the center, and the other children welcomed her with open arms.  And she accepted her new place with a humble appreciation for the blessing that God had granted her.  Only a week later, a trip to the clinic confirmed what we did not want to accept - Carol's 12-year old immune system was falling victim to HIV.  Even after her diagnosis, little Carol was resilient - never losing faith in God and His plan for her.  Despite her condition and prognosis, she never failed to acknowledge the many blessings in her life, and she openly expressed her appreciation for the life that God had given her.  She radiated pure joy, and it was infectious. I know she touched the lives of many, and I feel truly grateful for her example and inspiration.  Through her simple understanding and appreciation of her place in this world, I was reminded of what is most important in our lives - our relationships with our family and friends, and how we can give of ourselves to serve those around us.  Pure charity, love and respect for one another.  I will forever carry her lasting impression with me, especially as I venture out into the health care field as a nurse.  And someday (SOON) I will make my way back to Africa, to serve those people that so desperately need the medical attention that we take for granted.  But that's a soap box I'll stand on some other time :]  Here's to precious Carol, who is singing now with the angels in heaven.....